We all have issues.
Some came from our childhood.
Some came from rejection, betrayal, disappointment, or loss.
Some are fears we've carried for years.
Some are insecurities we can't seem to shake.
Some resulted from things other people did to us.
And some came from choices we made ourselves.
Those things are real.
Following Jesus doesn't require us to pretend they didn't happen. Faith isn't denying pain, ignoring wounds, or acting as though difficult experiences haven't affected us.
But eventually, every one of us has to wrestle with a challenging question:
When do our issues start becoming our excuses?
There's a difference between understanding why you struggle and deciding that your struggle gets to determine who you will always be.
There's a difference between saying:
"This is something I'm working through."
and:
"This is just who I am."
And recognizing that difference can be uncomfortable.
But sometimes discomfort is exactly where growth begins.
Your Past Can Explain You Without Defining You
Understanding where our behaviors, fears, and insecurities come from can be incredibly valuable.
Maybe you have trouble trusting people because someone you trusted deeply betrayed you.
Maybe rejection caused you to build walls around yourself.
Maybe your childhood taught you unhealthy patterns that followed you into adulthood.
Maybe failure made you afraid to try again.
Those experiences can help explain why certain things are difficult for you.
But explanation and permission aren't the same thing.
Understanding why you respond a certain way doesn't necessarily mean God wants you to remain that way.
There comes a point when the question changes from:
"Why did this happen to me?"
to:
"God, what are You asking me to do from here?"
That's a very different question.
The first looks backward for an explanation.
The second looks toward God for direction.
We need both at times. But eventually, we have to move forward.
"Do You Want to Get Well?"
There's a fascinating encounter in John 5.
Jesus meets a man near the pool of Bethesda who had been unable to walk for 38 years.
Jesus knew his situation. He knew how long the man had suffered.
Yet Jesus asked him what initially sounds like a strange question:
"Do you want to get well?" — John 5:6
Why ask someone who had suffered for decades whether he wanted to get well?
Look at the man's response.
He begins explaining why he hasn't been healed.
He has no one to help him into the pool. Every time he tries to get there, someone gets ahead of him.
His obstacles were real.
But Jesus didn't spend the conversation debating those obstacles.
Instead, Jesus told him:
"Get up! Pick up your mat and walk." — John 5:8
There was suddenly something being asked of the man.
Movement.
Faith.
Response.
Jesus provided the healing, but the man was commanded to get up.
There's something powerful there for us.
We can become so accustomed to explaining why we're where we are that we stop asking whether God is calling us to move.
Your Issue May Not Have Been Your Choice
This distinction is important.
There are things that happen to us that we absolutely did not choose.
You didn't choose every wound.
You didn't choose every rejection.
You didn't choose everything you experienced growing up.
You didn't control every person who hurt you.
Acknowledging that isn't making an excuse. It's acknowledging reality.
But there comes a point when we have to decide what we're going to do with what happened.
Your issue may not have been your choice. But what you do with it now is.
That doesn't mean healing happens instantly.
It doesn't mean you pray once and every emotional wound disappears.
It doesn't mean Christians never need help, counseling, wise guidance, accountability, or time to heal.
It means we refuse to hand our past permanent authority over our future.
When Your Struggle Becomes Your Identity
There's another danger that can happen when we've carried something for a long time.
Eventually, we stop saying:
"I struggle with this."
And start saying:
"This is who I am."
We hear it all the time:
"That's just how I am."
"I've always been this way."
"I'm just an angry person."
"I can't trust anybody."
"I'll always struggle with this."
"You don't understand what I've been through."
Sometimes we've repeated those statements for so long that they have become part of our identity.
But Scripture gives followers of Jesus a radically different identity.
Second Corinthians 5:17 tells us:
"If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"
Following Christ doesn't mean every struggle magically disappears.
It means our struggles don't get to tell us who we are anymore.
Jesus does.
Your fear isn't your identity.
Your rejection isn't your identity.
Your insecurity isn't your identity.
Your past isn't your identity.
Even your failures aren't your identity.
If you belong to Christ, your identity begins with Him.
Grace Isn't Permission to Stay Stuck
Sometimes we misunderstand grace.
We think grace means God simply accepts everything about us and never challenges us to change.
But look at the ministry of Jesus.
Jesus demonstrated extraordinary compassion toward broken people.
And He also called people to something different.
Grace meets us where we are.
But grace doesn't necessarily leave us where we are.
Paul experienced this personally.
He struggled with what he called a "thorn in the flesh" and repeatedly asked God to remove it.
God's response was:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." — 2 Corinthians 12:9
Notice what God didn't say.
He didn't tell Paul that weakness was now his identity.
Instead, Paul's weakness became a place where God's strength could be displayed.
That's a completely different perspective.
Instead of:
"This weakness means I can't."
Paul learned:
"This weakness gives me another reason to depend on Christ."
Ask God the Hard Question
Sometimes our prayers are focused almost entirely on changing what's around us.
"God, change this situation."
"Change this person."
"Remove this obstacle."
"Make this easier."
Those aren't necessarily wrong prayers.
But there's another prayer that takes courage:
"God, show me what needs to change in me."
That's harder.
Because suddenly we're not examining everyone else's behavior.
We're examining our own.
Maybe God wants to challenge an attitude.
Maybe it's unforgiveness.
Maybe it's fear.
Maybe you've been procrastinating on something you know you need to do.
Maybe you've been blaming your past for behavior God has been asking you to confront.
Maybe you keep saying you're waiting for the right time when, underneath it, you're actually afraid.
This is where excuses become dangerous.
An excuse can make staying the same feel reasonable.
Stop Saying "That's Just How I Am"
One of the most limiting statements we can make is:
"That's just how I am."
For a follower of Jesus, transformation is part of the journey.
Romans 12:2 tells believers to:
"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
Transformation means change.
Growth.
Renewal.
Becoming more like Christ.
God isn't asking you to manufacture that transformation through sheer willpower. We need the Holy Spirit.
But neither are we called to resist God's work because change is uncomfortable.
Sometimes we need to stop asking God to make us comfortable in what we've always known and start asking Him to give us courage for where He's leading us.
Working Through Something vs. Hiding Behind It
So how do you know when an issue may be turning into an excuse?
Ask yourself:
Am I taking any steps toward healing or growth?
Do I continually use my past to justify behavior I know isn't healthy?
When someone lovingly challenges me, do I immediately explain why I can't change?
Have I made my struggle part of my identity?
Am I praying for God to change everyone around me while refusing to ask what He wants to change in me?
And perhaps the hardest question:
What have I been explaining that God may actually be asking me to confront?
Don't answer that question for somebody else.
Answer it for yourself.
Press Forward
Paul wrote something powerful in Philippians 3:13–14:
"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal..."
Paul certainly hadn't forgotten his past in the literal sense. He talked about it elsewhere.
But his past no longer controlled the direction of his life.
He was moving forward.
That's the challenge for us too.
You can acknowledge what happened.
You can grieve it.
You can learn from it.
You can seek help healing from it.
But you don't have to build your home there.
God still has something ahead.
The Question We're Asking Ourselves
This isn't an article written from a place of having everything figured out.
It's a question worth asking ourselves regularly:
When do my issues start becoming my excuses?
Where have I confused explanation with permission?
Where have I started calling a struggle my identity?
Where am I asking God to change my circumstances when He's trying to change something in me?
And where is Jesus simply saying:
Get up.
Take the next step.
Trust Me.
Move forward.
Your issue may be part of your story.
It doesn't have to become the ending.
Because when you're in Christ, your past doesn't get the final word.
Your fear doesn't get the final word.
Your failure doesn't get the final word.
Jesus does.
Lord & Armor
At Lord & Armor, we believe following Jesus means learning to stand firm in every season—not pretending battles don't exist, but refusing to let them determine who we become.
Stay rooted in God's Word. Put on the full armor of God. And keep moving forward in faith.
Explore Lord & Armor Christian apparel or continue reading biblical encouragement in the Lord & Armor Journal at LordAndArmor.com.
